Happy APAHM + Mental Health Awareness month! In the midst of everything that’s been going on, we wanted to take a moment to really reflect on how the current situation has affected us as women and women of color. A lot of our identity trickles (if not flows) into our mindset which affects our daily lives and decisions. Which is why mental health isn’t just something BIG that you have to have in order to talk about or pay attention to it. It’s actually in the little, seemingly everyday life thoughts, self criticism, triggers, and interactions that make the biggest difference to the quality of life we live.

One of our core missions at PIP is to normalize these types of conversations that might feel taboo or uncomfortable because we grew up not talking about our thoughts, feelings, and mental health. It’s always ok to feel what you feel. Talking and sharing those thoughts can really help others feel less alone. 

Speaking about mental health, we released a new episode yesterday all about how to be there for the people you love!

Taking the time to embrace my emotions

Growing up, I was always criticized for crying, for being angry, for being sad, for ever having any feelings outside of happiness. Like many first generation Asian Americans, I grew up in a household with immigrant parents who sacrificed everything they had ever known for the glimmer of hope that I could have a better life outside of communist rule.

As I got older, the guilt of those sacrifices weighed heavily on me. Whenever I was sad or had a bad day, I could hear my parents' voices in the back of my head “Why are you crying? You’re being too emotional. What do you even have to be sad about, look at how lucky you are.” And so began my life-long journey of suppressing my feelings - because no matter how bad I had it, I wasn’t being sent to the countryside to work as a farmer against my own will like my mother had.

Years of pent up emotions to make everything look shiny and bright on the outside took its toll on me. Even when bouts of deep sadness came, I never cried because I felt undeserving, how could I even know what sadness was when I had been given every opportunity my parents worked so hard to offer?

After reaching many breaking points, I began to realize that by not allowing myself to feel the entire spectrum of human emotion, I was not allowing myself to live life to my fullest potential. Human emotions are a vital part to living, you must understand pain to feel joy, and by sheltering my emotions constantly, I was denying myself of being human.

Even though now, I am still more likely to share my entire life story rather than how I actually feel about a situation, it’s something that I am working on. I am learning to embrace my spectrum of emotions just as much as I embrace uncontrollable laughter. I am allowing the tears to roll down my face, whether it from joy or sadness because life is meant to be felt, just as much as it was meant to be lived.

Building a home within myself where I'll always belong 

I heard this quote from Tarana Burke (on Brene Brown’s podcast) where she says “If you can’t hear me, then you can’t see me.” That cut me. I don’t know about you guys but that captures what I’ve felt almost my entire life. This idea and feeling that we just don’t belong as Asians. Whether in society (especially nowadays with Covid) or even within our own families.

I still battle the residue of growing up and being punished for “not being enough.” My A’s were not A+s. I’m in first violin but I’m not first chair. I’m in English honors but not Math honors. I have friends but I’m not popular. My eyes are too small, my nose too wide, I have no boobs, and I’m not tall. Therefore, I’m ugly, I'm not feminine enough, and no man would want me. (As if those were THE laws of being worthy of love as a woman).

And no matter how much I tried to explain or validate myself to either my parents or my peers, it didn’t matter. I didn’t feel heard because I didn’t believe in my own voice. I didn’t believe in the value of my opinion, experiences, and my own story. Instead, I felt shame. Shame in who I really was.

So then what happens? We pretend. We imitate. We try to be perfect. We hide our ugly imperfections hoping that others will never find out who we really are. And honestly, if we don’t know who we really are then it makes sense we never feel like we belong.

The truth is, no matter how much we DO, achieve, prove, or even how much others validate us, it’ll never fill that hole of not accepting ourselves first. We don’t need permission from the world to be in the room. You’re here for a reason. Your existence in itself is proof that you have a story worth telling. No one else is ever going to experience life exactly the way you have.

The power in our stories is in sharing and connecting with one another. The whole OMG ME TOO is because we feel heard. Just by someone being able to relate. But we have to work on hearing (and believing) ourselves first in order to truly see ourselves. WHEN you see yourself for who you have always been and relearn to love all the bits and pieces of you, then you’ll always have a home wherever you go.

You belong. You matter.

Hi PIP fam! I’m Asia and an editor at Perfectly Imperfect! Music and audio have been a huge part of my life since day one. From classical repertoire to modern rock, music is definitely something I can't live without. I love singing, dancing and all things creative. You'll always find me hanging out at coffee/bubble tea shops!

Favorite Quote:

“I don’t think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you’ve done that today or any day, I‘m proud of you.”

Hi everyone! My name is Ramona and I'm part of the social media team. I design and create the content you guys see on our IG!

I’m in my sophomore year of college studying AFVS which stands for Art, Film, and Visual studies, but I like to think it stands for Americas Funniest home Videos.

If we ever meet in the real world, if you don’t see me coming you’ll definitely hear me coming because I’m louder than the OG dad sneeze. I’m just a hopeless ramen-tic and coffee and makeup addict excited to see what will happen next! Hopefully the future entails getting cast in a season of Love is Blind.

Favorite Quote:

“Just start. The rest is easy.”

"If we can open up a little bit more to each other and share our stories, that's what breaks down barriers."

- Michelle Obama

The experience of Michelle Obama's documentary "Becoming" showed us just how powerful vulnerable story telling can be. We have always seen her as this powerful leader, the First Lady of the United States, but through this documentary we saw that behind the accolades, she has the same fears, frustrations, and self doubts that we do. She had aspirations before and during her time in the White House which have now evolved in her time post. She gets raw about her experience in the White House and everything that has happened since and reminds us that our stories are what connect us as humans 💛

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THANK YOU!! WE APPRECIATE AND LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!

We're proud of you.

You are heard.

You are valued.

Your story is everything

Love,

Christine + Regina